Mercy Thief

Lyrics

Verse 1
I know faith’s not a feelingBut I feel like my faith is deadWhen I sit down to read my Bible I’ve other thoughts inside my headOn my knees in shallow darkness When I prayed for some relief,I was waived of all the pressure But exchanged it all for grief
Verse 2
And I don’t understand the seasons the Father ordains
And I’m hindered in my prayers By my aging doubts and pains
I know by counting blessings I’ve been treated most unfairlyHere I deserve to die yet live on wearily
Chorus
Lord, I believe
But help my unbeliefPlease have mercy on
This wretched mercy thief
Verse 3
I was told by those I trust to run to the arms of my saviorto hold fast to my Lord and I agree with this on paper,Because He has been gracious to meAnd good is his natureSo why does talking to him
Suddenly feel, to me, like labor?
Chorus 2
Lord, I believeBut help my unbeliefPlease have mercy on This wretched mercy thiefLord, I believeBut help my unbeliefPlease extend your grace Upon this mercy thief
Bridge
I’m angry at men
For being selfish and full of prideI’m angry at myself As if I’ve got nothing to hideI made promises I couldn’t keep,But said I would, and liedI’m confused why God allowed my fall
When he knows I tried?
Chorus 3
Lord, I believeBut help my unbeliefPlease have mercy on
This humbled mercy thief
Verse 4
I'm convincing myself I'm not evolving to be bitter,But when I analyze all my thoughtsI must reconsiderWhere is my passionWhere is my sympathy?I must be deeply angry
But say I just have apathy
Chorus 4

Lord, I believe, But help my unbelief,Please have mercy On this humbled mercy thiefI am not going to deny The goodness of our God,He is the King over all things And knows my cool façadeIs only masking emotions That fester like a sore.Have mercy on me, God I can’t do this anymore
Verse 5
I know faith’s not a feelingBut I feel like my faith is cheapIt’s been bought by answered prayer requests And goes only skin deepLord, I believe,
But please have mercy on my unbeliefPlease extend your graceOn this mercy thief

The Story

Mercy thief is the most lyrically meaningful of the songs I have written. That's because it is adapted from a poem I wrote after I was grieving and trying to reconcile my faith to my personal feelings of bitterness and inadequacy.It comes from "my grace is sufficient for you" (2 Corinthians 12:9). I didn't feel like I had an appropriate response to the free gift of grace because I was so hung up over the sadness I was currently experiencing. For that, I almost felt entitled instead of humbled, like I was robbing from the beauty of radical generosity. That only led me into a spiral of self-loathing and doubt.Trying to find a way out, I earnestly was asking for some divine intervention to supercede for me and fill in the gaps in my faith.

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